Broken but not quitting

Saturday - hung over - and thinking about true love.

I have my hang up on mr. B - who is now more like a fictional character in my mind.  I am not sure when, but at one point, and it was in the morning when I woke up most likely beside mr. B - I thought that I will probably die with him.  I thought that I would like to grow old with him.  And we talked about that - about being an old Asian woman with permed hair and him with a huntch back of some sort.

And another time - it all quit.  We broke up.

I texted my friend, "either

A.  My definition of true love was wrong
B.  The definition was right but the person was wrong
C.  Or I had given up and so I was wrong"

Then she texted back saying that maybe we had grown apart.

Ugh, her response is so NOT romantic.

I feel broken today.  Ugly as shit.  But to quote dan savage "what ev's"

I'm crying my eyes out right now - and I don't know why - I guess I feel kind of stupid - and I don't even know if I believe in love and if that's even something impt.  I am making a big deal out of nothing.   I'm hoping that tomorrow, I'll be able to run a full 4 miler again.