I'm hanging out with a great friend of mine, Emerson. We are so similar, and look so alike, we are more like kin than our actual brothers and sisters. My actual family are special, and irreplaceable, but Emerson's an aquired brother. We even bicker like brother and sister. I'm trying to work on it, so that I understand how NOT to get into fights with him. I owe him a great deal of compassion and friendship. Meena too, have said the same about him... that he's a great friend. I hope that he knows that I really appreciate him, and think that he is very special.
Sometimes I feel really alone in the world. This feeling of being alone, I don't know where it comes from. I think it comes from the need to be more self-sufficient. It's like growing up. The feeling comes with desperation and depression. When I'm overworked, when I'm underworked. When I can't feel like I could relate to my environments. When I'm so tense and anxious that I can't play with my friends. Ugh, it's embarassing when I get that way, too serious to be funny, too funny to be anything else.
I feel like one of those Chinese workers... just a number in a sea of workers. Nothing special. hmmm..
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