On dating, and trying to find a partner in life.. Partner is the key here right? Some of my friends have had relationships, boy friends, husbands where the man has the total financial superiority in the relationship. No matter how much feminism had given housework (women's work) power, in reality - it ends up not working. Can't deny the power of the bread earning. It's not only the inequality in power, it's also the disconnect between the two people. My mother for one had never worked her whole life and my father was the bread winner. I saw how it did not work for my father and mother.
When we lived in America as children, I was raised just as my brothers. When we moved to Japan, I couldn't stop hanging out and doing everything with the boys - so my parents and teachers had to school me to be more like the other girls, talk like them, stop playing sports, etc. etc. I was jealous of my brothers, of their freedom most of my stay in Japan. I felt horrible that all the sudden I had to become a 'girl' - which in my eyes meant less freedom, less play. I didn't want to EVER be the subservient gender, EVER!
Where I am now - I like to play with the gender roles. I cringe at the idea of living under my father's control or someone like my father. To not ever have my freedom - and to ASK for things in my life. To be afraid.
I'm always challenging the boys that I like. Probably because I'm insecure of my own gender identity. Playing with the gender roles - is confusing when dating. The dude that I'm going on a date with doesn't know how to act - as a boy? as a fem-boy?
I AM old fashioned. I like it when a guy acts the guy and make me feel like female. In the current workforce where women are making 72% of every dollar men makes for the same job function - I honestly can't respect a man if he can't pick up the tab. But it's more than that. My long time ex - Mr. B. I really appreciated that he would pick up the tab all the time - even after 6 years of dating. He would open doors for me, do all the gentlemanly things. Pretty cool. He wasn't always financially stable - we moved around a lot. So I'd come through with rent or anything big picture so that 'we' would be okay. It just comes down to me being an old-fashioned independent female. I want to be able to do everything a boy does, but still be treated like a female.
Here's instructions from my female friend at first date about the tab:
When we lived in America as children, I was raised just as my brothers. When we moved to Japan, I couldn't stop hanging out and doing everything with the boys - so my parents and teachers had to school me to be more like the other girls, talk like them, stop playing sports, etc. etc. I was jealous of my brothers, of their freedom most of my stay in Japan. I felt horrible that all the sudden I had to become a 'girl' - which in my eyes meant less freedom, less play. I didn't want to EVER be the subservient gender, EVER!
Where I am now - I like to play with the gender roles. I cringe at the idea of living under my father's control or someone like my father. To not ever have my freedom - and to ASK for things in my life. To be afraid.
I'm always challenging the boys that I like. Probably because I'm insecure of my own gender identity. Playing with the gender roles - is confusing when dating. The dude that I'm going on a date with doesn't know how to act - as a boy? as a fem-boy?
I AM old fashioned. I like it when a guy acts the guy and make me feel like female. In the current workforce where women are making 72% of every dollar men makes for the same job function - I honestly can't respect a man if he can't pick up the tab. But it's more than that. My long time ex - Mr. B. I really appreciated that he would pick up the tab all the time - even after 6 years of dating. He would open doors for me, do all the gentlemanly things. Pretty cool. He wasn't always financially stable - we moved around a lot. So I'd come through with rent or anything big picture so that 'we' would be okay. It just comes down to me being an old-fashioned independent female. I want to be able to do everything a boy does, but still be treated like a female.
Here's instructions from my female friend at first date about the tab:
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