"There's nothing wrong with sleeping around if what you want to do is sleep around. If what you want to do is build a relationship it's likely to get in the way in a big way unless you and the person you meet and click with want to do some poly thing. People like to talk about this but there really aren't many people who can do connection/intimacy at the same time as they're doing a sleep around merry go round.
Didn't sound to me like you wanted that kind of thing so that leaves, generally speaking, two ways of going: one is date/sleep around, maybe have a few you see semi regularly, maybe not. There's plenty of sex and different fun and/or interesting dates to be had. If that's what you want go and get it. THe thing is though is that we only have so much time and energy and our spreading our time and sexual attention around means, at best, a real limit on potential depth of connection: being up front means the other person will likely be doing the same and have less time and space for you. Keeping it quiet means even less connection and the potential of someone feeling mislead as generally monogamy is assumed, at least after a few times.
Again, if what you want is adventure, go for it! But what you've implied is that you want more, including a child. For most people that means focusing on someone and building a connection with them. When you were at my house you and I and Eliza talked about a guy you're dating that you already know "isn't good for you" is what you said. So I think you should move on. There are plenty of people out there. What I've mostly done is go out on a few dates and if it feels right, go for it. Men and women of various demographics play by all sorts of rules, fairly and unfairly, Im not being moralistic more practical. There' only some much time and we all only have so much emotional space and energy. I think if you wan to get involved with someone it makes more sense to focus on one at a time. Spend time with them, sleep with them, ask for what you want, see if you like or can deal with what they want, see if you like them and feel like they appreciate you. Maybe it will stick, maybe you find you don't like them or want different things, maybe you feel more like a friend and not like a lover, who knows?
I think I can speak generally for most straight guys in Saying that if a woman is dating around we're not going to take her seriously and will be out doing as much of that as we can too. We might like her, maybe even love her, and be nice and giving to some degree but not really invest much. If we've shown up with some sincere intention and it turns out she's been checking us out while still playing the field we're hurt and it may be a deal breaker.
So Leiko if you want to date around do it and have fun. If want more/deeper then go out on dates until you find one worth checking out and give them a shot for a few months. If it's not right your motor will still be warm to jump back in.
I think all this starts with you being really clear about what you want."
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