My New Apartment!!

Hi! I'm moving! I saw an ad 3 days ago, went to the apartment, liked it, and now, I'm moving in! Yay!

It's a one bedroom, so I'll get a couple extra rooms, for less rent! I'm in a lower social economic neighborhood than now, and will have to deal with unsightly neighbors... But those exist everywhere, I guess. I'll just work on not staring at them...

So this means that my bed's staying with me!

Pictures to come.

Why I love Chinatown

And... Old people. How come Chinatown's always filled with old people? Where do the White old people hang out? Where can you find Black oldies? Well, White ones are in their cars... and Black ones... Church. I'm terrible, I know!

New Year's Resolution

I think my new year's resolution is figuring out how to do resolutions.

I feel like I've got so much that I want, and so many goals, but not many things actually get done. I don't even remember what my resolution was last year (tho, I can probably fish it out of this blog...). I don't think I accomplished it, because I feel like the same person that I was last year, except with a couple more wounds. Attempted, yes, so at least I can give myself that. But I just know that what's more important than having a resolution is to figure out how to do these damn, these goddamn things.

So... this is what's going to happen.
1. Goal setting... figuring out what I want.
2. Information... finding out what it takes. Talk to people, read mags, websites, etc. Get buddies who wants to do the same kinda things.
3. Do little bits weekly or every day.
4. Keep going.
5. Remember again the desires.

Aaron inspires me a lot lately, because I learn from him. The way he talks about himself and emotions I can relate. So maybe we can help each other out. I was really happy... I think it was on Thanksgiving, I felt like I made a friend.

This is my bag of gold nuggets... Desires that's soon to be transformed into resolutions.

I want....
I want to lose weight. I want to be thin.
I want to do more stuff.... like go mushroom hunting or go to a cow farm.
I want to make more friends. Friends that care about each other.
I want to be an architect.
I want to be responsible.
I want to get a kick ass job.
I want to make money, spend less, and dig myself out of this debt.
I want to live in a nice apartment. One with hardwood floor.
I want to goto Turkey.
I want to goto Antarctica.
I want to keep working on my art and try to get a residency or a teaching position.
I want to help people.
I want to make art that I can be proud of.
I want to run a marathon.
I want a pair of stilettos.
I want a fuzzy bath robe.
I want a prius.
I want to get rid of this bed.
Oh, and I want to lighten up. So... develop a thicker skin, enhance my sense of humor etc. etc.
I want to spend more time with the Ocean. (surfing, sailing, swimming, bathing)
I want to laugh more.
I want to be more emotionaly responsible. (as Aaron says... I have to try to lessen the things that make me feel like I want to die... like cigaretts, like asparatine, like casual sex, like doing things without thinking about the consequences, like Christmas, like Birthdays, like losing my job)
I want to try not to make people angry.
I want to be happy.

.....I passed....

"I passed...." that's what I heard on Friday on my voicemail from Kelley... She always whispers when she talks, but it was loud and clear.

Friday, Kelley passed with a speedy one hour to spare.
Monday, I passed by seven points.
Tuesday, John passed. Solid.

So... we are LEED Acredited Proffesional. What does that mean? It means that we get to put it on our biz cards and emails. Well, besides that, it means that we know what it takes to get a building LEED certified (which is a green building rating system).

Yes, it's true that LEED has a lot of problems in it self. It is overpriced, and in my humble opinion it doesn't foster innovation. LEED is an inadequate system and was obsolete at its inception. You can say that it has a fundamental design flaw. It's a point based certification system that encourages people to seek points based on cookie-cutter stategies. You can get a point if you put bike racks on your facility, or if you put in an energy efficient heating system. Doesn't that sound unfair? It is so much more easier to put in bike racks than an energy efficient heating system. It doesn't matter, a point is a point, right?

People are competing to achieve points that may or may not be applicable to the project. But a national sustainable rating system should encourage research, case specifity, and again, innovation. People should compete for newer ways of thinking, and newer strategies for energy efficiency. It just seems like we spend so much energy pushing paper around to get buildings certified, when we should spend energy to try to make things better (aka design).

Anyway, I gave myself a UTI or YI (I guess I get stressed out easily because the test was a lot, but not hard), but I'm glad I did it. I'm going to get started on the AREs (licensing test) next, with the new year if anyone wants a study buddy.

If you are interested in taking the exam you can check out intheleed.com. It was developed by a former Berkeley student. I read the reference guide, (which I have a photocopy of), and the website for the test.

I am grossly behind schedule on studying

So that's why I'm taking a break to write in my journal.

Uncommon Grounds Coffee Shop
2813 Seventh Street near Ashby in Berkeley.

So this is a cute coffee shop with a little outside seating. Just like the name, the coffee shop is a bit hard to 'stumble upon'. It's located at the end of a large parking lot, and is part of a warehouse where they roast the beans. Eliza took me there years ago, and I'd forgotten about it, until last week when Bill took me there to pick up some emergency bags of coffee beans for his coffee business.

The coffee is cheap, a buck and change. And the barristas are hip and super friendly and nice. They are into Brazilian music. There's a lot of kids books at the cafe, and of course free wifi.

Atmosphere: Casual (Kind of like how Temescal Cafe used to be) Mostly worker bees.
$$: Cheap
Food: Coffee, Teas, Pastries, Sandwiches, etc.
Hours: Not sure, I don't think they're open in the evenings.
Service: Really nice.

week

It looks like a tornado went through my room.
I calculated the hours, and I've worked 65hours last week. This doesn't include transportation time to and from each gigs. At the same time, I feel like I've done nothing, and am still po.
I have a test that I can't fail on the 22nd.
When the 22nd hits I need to concentrate on the drawings.

I havn't had very many responsibilities my whole life. And I can't really handle a whole lot of it.
I chewed out this lady at work on Friday. My ass is on shaky grounds right now. I feel really really bad about that. And I got lectured from everyone about it. Aaron, Bill, mom, everyone.
Got drunk on Friday night. Coke and whisky is my new best friend. Yum! I can't deal with Margaritas. No thanks!

Dreamt of my dad a couple nights ago, and I realized I'm smoking Benson and Hedges... it's what dad used to smoke. I think I really just want to be like my dad.
Or, maybe I still just want to be his only daughter.

Istanbul Turkey

I'm going to Istanbul Turkey next year. May, 2009. For about three weeks. The plane tickets are about $1000 (+). but fuck I'm going to do it, man. Another couple of grand or so for touring. I'll come up with the rest later.

December 2011, I'm going to Antarctica. $6000... that's going to be a big one...

Bill, my coffee boss told me his story, and I've been telling people about it. When he was 31, he had gotten divorced by his ex-wife, the crazy artist. Then he had gotten layed off from work (well, he's got a very expressive personality, so I can understand why). This was his architecture job, doing condos. So he was broke, and you'd think that's pretty bad, but he then found out that he had brain cancer. Ouch. Talk about being at the bottom of the pit. 31, broke, without a career, a wife, and with a huge tumor in your brain.... sucks. So that's when he started his coffee business. Because he really likes coffee, and his ex wife told him that he can't ever do anything with that. And, that's when he met Clair. His current wife.

I thought Clair was really lame. From what I hear, she doesn't do anything. She doesn't clean the house, she doesn't have a job, she doesn't cook, she doesn't fuck, she's not exactly charming. Her personality is like vegan food - dry and 'good'. And if Reiko says 'your house is dirty', it's really beyond the typical hygenic standards. I mean, I understand that raising two kids is a LOT of work, but really(?) I don't even use thier bathroom, I'd rather hold it.

Back then Clair had a few suitors and had a Masters in Business and fell for Bill. And hanged out with him before and after his surgery, when he couldn't even see enough to read or drive for months. I could see why Bill puts up with this woman, and why she gets whatever she wants. I mean, this man does everything... cooks, cleans, shops, and brings home the bacon. This marriage, tho, is definately not what I'd look for. That's what Pat said, and I have to agree.

On another note, I had a million short dreams last night. One involved a bath house and peeing. Another one was about my dad. The synopsis is that I'm overwhelmed, super duper duper frustrated, angry, overcaffenated, and tired. But I'm definately not complaining, because this is fun, and at least I'm not miserable.

OKC

I signed up in Feburary, 2008, but never really used the site until about May or so when my friends had gotten into it.. Since we talk about it all the time, I started to frequent the site to look for profiles, for boys to hang out with.

It's a really addictive site, because there are so many things to do on it... Taking quizes, looking at pictures, searching people, wooing boys, messaging peeps, flipping through profiles.

These are the boy stories. Not much, but I thought I'd share.

Boy M: Classical guitarist. Made me think of Stefan Keyser. Thought they may be a good match. There are only two boys who had ever played guitar for me, and he's one of them. He's a good ol' Classic American, but his drug history is really a big nono. Even tho it's history it's not history enough if you still talk about it like it's a chunk of your heart.

Boy F: I actually knew him because he was a friend of my ex-roommate's. And he came by our party one time. Well, I ran into him this one BART ride home from the city. It was one of the last trains to the East Bay. His eyes were red and his face was puffy, and it was obvious that he was crying. He said that he had a date that had gone bad. Yikes. Of course, when he messegaged me on OKC, I didn't talk to him, or reply back. Feeling guilty and super awkward, I was annoyed. It seemed like he wanted to talk about dating things. It seemed like I had to explain my situation. And then the conductor announced that someone had jumped infront of BART.

Boy L: I was at Sork Club in Oakland with my drinking buddy John. We were hopping around, and that was one of our end ups. Boy L was working the ticket booth with my former neighbor. I instantly recognized him, and he recognized me from OKC too. We had messaged a few times, and that was that. Well, it was an awkward situation again. I hate seeing people from OKC in chance encounters in real life. My anonimity is suddently broken, and I'm just not prepared to deal with the encounter..

I wanted to still have fun. And I didn't want to have a 'date' with this dude that night at that time. I remember talking to him and my ex-neighbor girl. I think I was super drunk. I tried to make out with her. She said that she doesn't play around but she still kissed me.

Well, it turns out that I ran into Boy L again this weekend at a temp gig. Yes, we recognized each other, but wasn't too awkward. Whew.

Boy S: He's not a boy at all. I talked to him on OKC. It seemed like he was extremely eager to talk to me, see me, what not. Warning sign. Went on a coffee date with him at 9 am in the morning. I told him 40 min. and that's it. We'll see how it goes. He said that he likes me a lot, likes what I do, yatta yatta. He looked like a boring guy, very clean, typical Berkeley hippy-yuppy. A guy to go rock-climbing with or go mushroom hunting with. He was really pushy, and wanted to hug me good bye, and tried to kiss me, amongst other things. Yuck. I freaked out, got mad, and told him, bye.

Boy D: So I was baby sitting in Russian Hill Saturday night. And he was on OKC. So I got to talk to him, and it turns out that he lived a couple of blocks from where I was. He really wanted to show me his landscape project that's near by, and convinced me to see it after work. This is at 1am, mind you. Yes, I'm stupid. And I regretted it as soon as I went over there. The little walk to his project, was... what ever. He couldn't stop talking about his business, and his work really didn't impress me. And he didn't look like his picture. It turns out, that my ex-co-worker Jenny had ran into him at a coffee shop, and is now doing a few gigs for him. He mentioned me, an architecture girl who's doing a lot of cow drawings, and Jenny figured out that that was me. Sigh.

Boy P: So this one, again, didn't look anything like his picture. We met at the Lake Merrit Bart, and walked around the lake. I was really turned off by the fact that he didn't dress up or anything. He had come straight from work, in his shabby atire. More over, it was during Ramadan, and he was fasting, so he was weak, and had stinky breath. Really gross, really not a good idea. We were walking around the lake, and sat at a bench, and he immediately put his arm around me and grabbed my hand. Scary! When I told Hin, he laughed and said that he's brave. This really wasn't fun.

Boy X: I decided that this OKC thing is not for me. Time to check my self out of this mess!

Hi!

The Giant and the little girl... Her favorite vehicle is a 2009 Sky Blue Prius.


I used to dress in something like this... lots of pink and frills and strawberries. A little disturbing and creepy, this picture.

I like the dangling rope... it looks like a noose. A bit of a cliche`.

This is the bus terminal in SF. I took this picture on my way home from work at around 1am. It was the worst night ever, but really kind of pretty.

This is my mom. Ha, she's such a kid. She's a quick and speedy Mini Cooper, fun but not very spacious.

I love this picture. The rough and tumble white 4x4 biodiesel Toyota Truck on the left and 2005 silvery light green Toyota Prius, totally efficient, totally reliable, and totally sustainable vehicle on the right.

Things that I genuinely like...

Ok, so it's hard to share what you hate... And it's also hard to share what you like...

I really like graphite. I like how it shines after rubbing it on a surface... it looks like mercury.
I really like white wine. As opposed to red wine... I'm getting older, and my taste is changing.
I really like my bed. But I'm considering getting rid of it sooner than later.
I really like single serving everything. I like to own what I can carry. I like minimalism... I like to live in a single room. I like to carry what I own. My body is always the tool that carries the weight of my life. (And right now, that's all that I can handle worrying about, is my life.)
I really like labor. I like feeling things through my body. I like feeling things. I like being appreciated for the things that I make.
I really appreciate the people in my life.
I really like predictability. I really like unpredictability.
I really like camping.
I really like hot tubs.
I really like my mom.

Woooooow!!

I'm completely floored. A woman came into the cafe today and bought half of my shit that was in the cafe. This is just crazy. I didn't think that there was a need for art. I didn't think that my benign drawings would go like hot cakes. So it seems like this art thing, as a side gig, might just work out...

This is great. It's giving me time to develop my art... It's giving me time to figure out my life.

Woohoooo! My next piece is going to be an epic cow piece. Epic, man. I'm also trying to get a tour of a slaughter house in manteca. I just want to feel the scale of the bodies... and see the anatomical parts. I'm imagining that it's sort of like the compost farm in Vacaville. The compost sacs were collosal, and steaming. Pretty amazing.

Rambles

The creepy guy from my apartment yesterday saw me at the BBQ, and asked me if I ever goto Yoshi's. 'Ummm, yeeennooo... No, I, I don't think so. No. Uhhh, yeah, I actually hate jazz. No I don't like going out at all. No I don't, I don't like music... Ok, I gotta go over there now! OK?' And he just didn't get it. He didn't comprehend anything that I was saying. He kept on asking, 'what about... well don't you listen to... don't you ever go out?' I just had to remove myself physically.

The whole time, I was thinking, 'hey asshole, I'm being REALLY nice to you right now, so fucking back off!' I was really angry, and left the BBQ after another 'character', a crazy lady approached me. There seems to be a discrepancy between what I'm feeling internally and what's being communicated. I can learn to be more assertive, I suppose. I just don't want to hurt his feelings.

It's hard, because I don't like telling people my opinions... because opinions are opinions, and I don't want to hurt people because of what I think or feel. Also because I hate it when people challenge my opinions. Also I hate it when I encounter people with very strong opinions. But I guess that's how you grow and learn. Being challenged, and finding out your uncomfortable spots. Cherish your enemies... right?

"I HATE babysitting. It makes me feel retarded." - Reiko

I just don't know how moms do it.... Then someone told me that it's different if it's your own child.

Cici - "Losing the battle, winning the war" - that's what she said... but I can tell she really enjoys working with these different personalities at her work, and she likes trying to figure them out. I want to play the game too.

"I really like labor jobs. I like working hard, sweating at the job. And then there's always a sense of accomplishment at the end." - Reiko

"I'm a first time art buyer. I never thought I could buy art. I saw your work, and I loved it, then I saw your price, and I was like, I can buy that!" - Lorraine.

"I saw your cows. They're fantastic. I came into the cafe, and I really liked them. I thought about buying them, then I saw how much you were selling them for, and I thought, I gotta get it." - Nina.

"Well the thing about the receipts is that they're discarded objects. And you draw them so well." - Fern

"I just want to see if I can live without it" - Maggie

"You should be showing them in galleries." - Katja

"I'm borrowing your van, I should be treating you to breakfast." - Reiko
"No, that's ok. You're worth it." - Bill

I don't know why, but that made me so happy. And Kelley and I agree that that's how it should be.

These quotes from people, it'd be nice if people had access to my blog and wrote me, instead of me writing down what they said... kinda cheesy.. but this is my special blog that only my friends have access to, and nobody from my art circle or jobby job.

:::

:::Forget Me:::

Discarded Dreams, it's a mattress competition.
http://www.openarchitecturenetwork.org/mattress

:::Remember Me::::

The Gift Project

Experiments.... Soooo Goooooood!

Spinach, black eyed peas, tomatoes, corn, red onion, red pepper, lime, black pepper.

Red cabbage, pinto beans, tofu, hard boiled egg, miso, sugar, vineagar, olive oil.

Eggplant, carrots, peanuts, lemongrass, coconut and basil, and some other spices.. Fennel seeds. yum!

Choco chip cookie recipe from Nestle choco chip bag. Add cinnamon and curry. It's just so yummy. (It's not like the cayenne pepper choco chip cookie from last year... )

Raunchy apple pie. All the applie pies that I make are always raunchy... Apple pies are supposed to look cute, delicate, or really country... Mine looks like a play dough experiment. But they're still yummy. I got my recipe from recipe.com for flaky apple pies. I didn't have a pie dish or a baking sheet, but I did have cupcake pan. So I cut circles out of a bowl, and made mini apple pies.

Open Studios

This is going to be the cover of my cook book... The Ugly Food Cook Book.

Hi Jeeti! She makes these personal paintings of all of her girl friends... Female sexuality. Yay!

Represent Baltimore! +1

Silly girls! Amanda and Laura.

Hi Steve Baker. We are so alike, we constantly steel each other's ideas.... Haha. He's an abstract colorist painter. I'm a black and white figuretive drafter. I found out on the day that this picture was taken that he's gay.. and he had to repeat himself several times, because I just didn't register what he was talking about... How can I be so obtuse? I look like his long lost adopted daughter in this picture.

And thanks Dan Packman for coming! :) Sure made the show more fun.

I should have taken more pictures.....

O~ Superman~

Laurie Anderson's here in Berkeley tonight and tomorrow night, 10.24.2008. She's amazing... I want to see her, but I'd really rather see her performance art... the one where she had skated in the middle of the street on winter night in Manhattan.



"Let it flow! Let yourself go! Slow and Low. That is the tempo!"

Tree

I was walking around East Lake Merritt today, on the way home from OUSD. I passed by this tree on the side walk that had a million birds in it that chirped away. Bizarro. I looked to the ground and found a million bird poop. I looked at the tree again, and looked for berries, or something. Nothing. Nothing special about this tree. It looked like any other tree that was on the same block. Bizzarro. What was more bizzare was that I kept hearing the birds, but the leaves hid them.

Art Making

So I sold a few things this weekend... Mostly my receipt series, and a cow drawing. People really loved the big receipt drawing... I'm surprised. I can't imagine it going into anybody's living room.

I might have a couple of commissions for the piece. I'll see how it goes.

So this means that people like things that are more 'interesting' (I guess as opposed to the cows). So that's liberating... I can potentially make things that I am personally more interested in, and still be able to sell it.

One cow drawing got sold... and another one is in limbo. The person who is considering purchasing it is soul searching. She absolutely loves it and wants to see if she can possibly live without it. I'm glad that she said that about my favorite cow drawing, and not my least favorite cow drawing (which was the one that got sold....)

I'm not done with the cows yet...

I want to do a very large cow piece that involved fabric and graphite. And the drawings... it can be better. Design. Composition, creativity.

I hate signing artwork

'Dear Sir or Madame,'

'Please dismiss my citation # 755083663 given to me on 10/20/2008 by officer J.M. I had been

The American Dream

Post colonial theory states that the 'third world' is actually within the American cities. When I go on these excursions, and find myself in these places, I am amazed at the poverty that is so close to my home. They are simple things that you notice that is aparent to anyone. The condition of the roads, the smelly alleys, the number of homeless people on the streets, the condition of the houses.

When you travel to the midwest, it is also shocking, with their over-consumption that you can see in their yards as things just seem to pile up and out of their houses. The number of obese pale kids and teenagers that hang out in Taco Bell. Then you goto public facilities like planned parenthood, and you see all these teenage girls trying to get abortion. A room full of Black girls sulking. Then you work at small firms, who are desperately trying to 'make-it', and have been trying to 'make-it' for years and years, and some just stay at their size or worse, downsize. I'm realizing that this American dream thing really isn't working. My life isn't working.

My mother said that at least in America, there is a chance to achieve success, to become wealthy or famous. I think, in Japan, things are more prescriptive. And you'd have to work like a dog just to be. I will be in a worse disposition being 30, and single. I don't really see a lot of homeless people on the streets in Japan, it's relatively clean. My father went to Japan so that he can get healthcare, because here in America, you're left on your own to take care of yourself.

So looking at the presidential campaign, both candidates nestle their arguments within the framework of an American Dream. Obama is trying to empower indendence and the individual, by allowing them to decide on their own healthcare. McCain is trying to empower the small business, because it's true, small businesses aren't 'making it'.

My worst fear is the widening of the economic gap between the classes. It just feels like it's all related to the economy. It's not so much that the education system doesn't work, it's the poor schools with poverty struck kids and neighborhoods that doen't work. For sure, if McCain gets elected the economic gap would widen. Eeeeek.

Biking: Bay Fair

I went biking today down by the bay, along the bay trail towards the Oakland Airport and into urban suburbia. Destination was Hayward, and the Bay trail.

I was dodging rail road tracks, and glass, lots of glass on the road. Of course, I missed a patch of glass, rode over it, and after a few miles, I had a flat. I ended up in no where land, or, aka, Lewilling Blvd, Bay Fair. Where the fuck is Bay Fair? There was a Korean grocery store on the road with nothing else around except a run down gas station on the corner that was fenced off. People there looked very strange, not like the people that I see here or in San Francisco. Lots of indegenous descent and Koreans. It felt like another state, like Nevada or Utah.

I felt a bit like McGuiver, trying to figure out a way to make my bike work... I bought a patch kit, and a pump, and right outside the store, I patched up my tube. The thing still didn't work. Defeated. I walked to BART, and went home. Next time, I'm going to skip the glass on the road, and start from Bay Fair. I really wanted to see sunset in a grassy hill by the Bay. Next time with a bottle of red, and with a good friend or a brother.

I like going on these mini excursions. It reminded me of the time that I spent with my brothers, Daisuke and Kentaro. Daisuke and I roller skated a bunch while we lived in Japan. We'd go everywhere in the neighrborhood, and cascaded the streets. In Houston, Texas, us three went on our bikes, or on foot on adventures. We'll find little bugs in puddles after a rain, cat fish in rivers, get our feet stuck in mud or injure our selves on nail stuck on planks of wood in construction sites. I don't think that Kentaro had ever gotten his foot stuck on nail before. He was always the smarter one, the oldest, the more shy one, and uncomfortably the leader with responsibilities. Daisuke was the sweet one, thoughtful and kind. And I was always the special one, for better or for worse.
I'm sure if you'd ask either of them, they'd probably say differently.

I'm being a bit nostalgic right now, for some reason. Maybe it's because it's Sunday, bloody fucking Sunday. I always feel like, remembering these things lets me figure somethings out in the future. I'm figuring out my goals, the things that I have to do, the person that I want to become. If you know what I mean.

My friendships havn't been going so well these past few weeks. Some good, some need tlc.
I need to do the things that I say I'm going to do.
I need to party.
Eeeek, tomorrow's the day for you know what.

David Byrne at SF Symphony Hall

Monday and Tuesday.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=119709231

And John Waters at the Castro Theatre on Monday!
http://www.frameline.org/events/detail.aspx?FID=43

Thanks for Reading

my blog...

McDonald's Number 5 Special

Autonomy of Identity within a Close Relationship

That's what I want.

Same thing that every body wants... I want to be loved, and at the same time have fun and be free. I insist on freedom. Love on the other hand, seems kind of painful. Not sure if I'm ready for that yet.

Kelley said that I need to work on humility. I think that means being more respectful of other people.

What am I scared of? I'm scared of being disapointed again. I'm scared that people are going to leave me again.

Why is respect such a challenge?

Because it seemed like, no matter how much I respected people, other people just didn't care. Because I was scared. Because he was supposed to protect me, and I'm all alone and poor, and miserable, and not special at all. And I feel like a little pebble that is so meaningless sometimes... And I guess it feels good to be meaningless sometimes. Less burden.

But what I have to do is... let other people know that they are special too.

Success

How to become successful...

Us humans, we come into this world under very different circumstances, and different genetic base. We acquire different skill sets based on circumstances and also based on our natural abilities. The most successful of us have a good combination of the circumstance and natural ability.

So I'm trying to figure out how to make things work. Things are just really merky, and my tendency is to push too much. There's no belief in destiny here.

I think the key to getting what you want, or to become successful is looking at your situation, looking at yourself, and then to problem solve. Find a solution that you are most comfortable with. Comfort seems to be key.

So in a way, I'm trying to say that we all know. We know what to do, why, what not to do, etc.

Is a Master of Lowering Expectations

It's kind of a way to deal with shit, life, in particular, parents, especially. Lowering Expectations.

I am a...

Japanese speaking Graphic Designer
Substitute Teacher
Tutor
Art Teacher
Organzer
Jr. Architect
Waitress
Administrative Assistant
Drafter
Barista
Baby sitter
Customer Service Specialist

Yosemite's the funnest Place in the World

This is me and my friend Laura. She keeps us all in check, and makes sure that we're taking care of ourselves. I'm glad that she keeps trying, cuz some people I just can't deal with.

Notice how sweet Laura is. Notice how my face is twice the size of hers... I think we call that Moon face in Japanese... it's not a good thing.

This is one standard picture, of standard tourists.

On one of the hike, Amanda and I got separated from Laura and Stefan. Amanda and I went to the Centennial Dome, which was spectacular, and Amanda found a cool tree. We took pictures of us there, and really, it would have been cooler if we were able to do some more funky things. I like how the photos are really spontaneous, but at the same time, a bit more makeup and glitter is always fun.

This is really cute. Amanda's head sticking out from underneath the tree.

I think I remember seeing a couple of chubby girls playing by the Yuba River, and Amanda pointed them out. Pssst, 'Reiko look at them'... as in, wow, they're so much like us... I am forever chubby girl, well, as long as I'm a healthy chubby girl who's also sexy, I think it's ok by me.

Action shot.

Amanda's so pretty.

This is looking West to the Bay Area. I'm taking a photo ontop of a map inscribed onto a metal sheet.

This is looking East to Baltimore.

I started this fire via the top down method. Peter and Teressa and the rest of the crew came back from their hike. We had some yummy vegan chilli, and started to sing some songs around the camp fire. I was trying to get these guys to sing the Nitingale song. 'What about the protest song? The one with the birds?' After about the fourth time I mentioned it, I think Peter asked me to sing it... And I did. And I just stopped at the first verse. I sort of wanted other people to pick it up. If I was Tara, then I could have gotten everyone to sing with me. I remember when we were protesting at Washington DC a long time ago, she kept singing it when we were marching. Even after everyone stopped singing, she kept going, and people started to join her again. She's got so much spirit, she's amazing.

I had started to drink, a bottle of red, champagne, some grapefruit juice and vodka, but not beer. I wasn't the only one drinking, but I think, I was pretty much the only one that kept going. I pulled a Bernard that evening. Laura said that we all have Bernard moments, but he's the only one that can do it full time.
I just wanted to have fun, that's all.

Oh, and I think I'm less freaked out with Mr. Peter Petty Personality. I joked around with him, and he joked around with me, and I think it's all right.

Teressa and Stefan. They look like siblings, but they are aunty and nephew.

That's Peter Petty Personality. He's not camera shy, he actually looked into my camera when I was taking a picture. Yay! The haiy head belongs to Terresa. She said, 'I still feel like I'm 18.' I think I'm shooting for 23, but good for her for being able to do 18.

I climbed up this huge rock by our camp site in the morning. I curled up under this tree, and thought a bit. I was actually picking black snot out of my nose. And then there was a guy who had come from no where. He wanted to check to see if I was dead. I think he must have been one of our neighbor campers, maybe even the one with the night vision goggle. It's funny, I was thinking about this. And people go to remote places, not so that they could be alone, or so that they could meditate, or pick their nose in private, but so that they could be found. This is kind of cheesy, and half true. I actually, just wanted to feel free.

Freedom from what?